Two guys were in a bar, and they were both watching the television when the news came on. It showed a guy on a bridge who was about to jump, obviously suicidal. "I'll bet you $10 he'll jump," said the first guy. "Bet you $10 he won't," said the second guy.

Then, the guy on the television closed his eyes and threw himself off the bridge. The second guy hands the first guy the money.

"I can't take your money," said the first guy. "I cheated you. The same story was on the five o'clock news." "No, no. Take it," said the second guy. "I saw the five o'clock news too. I just didn't think the guy was dumb enough to jump again!

The Taco Bell Chihuahua, a Doberman and a Bulldog are in a bar having adrink when a great-looking female Collie comes up to them and says, "Whoever can say liver and cheese,THE MOST CREATIVELY in a sentence can have me." 

So the Doberman says, "I love liver and cheese." The Collie replies, "That's not good enough." 

The Bulldog says, "I hate liver and cheese." She says, "That's not creative enough." 

Finally, the Chihuahua says, "Liver alone . . . cheese mine."

Genie

A couple was golfing one day on a very, very exclusive golf course lined with million-dollar houses. 

On the third tee, the husband said, "Honey, be very careful when you drive the ball. Don't knock out any windows. It'll cost us a fortune to fix." 

The wife teed up and shanked it right through the window of the biggest house on the course. 

The husband cringed and said, "I told you to watch out for the houses. All right, let's go up there, apologize, and see how much this is going to cost." 

They walked up and knocked on the door. A voice said, "Come on in. They opened the door and saw glass all over the floor and a broken bottle lying on its side in the foyer. 

A man on the couch said, "Are you the people who broke my window?" 

"Uh, yeah. Sorry about that," the husband replied. 

"No, actually, I want to thank you. I'm a genie who was trapped for a thousand years inside that bottle. You've released! me. I'm allowed to grant three wishes -- I'll give you each one wish, and I'll keep the last one for myself." 

"Okay, great!" the husband said. "I want a million dollars a year for the rest of my life." 

"No problem -- it's the least I could do. And you, what do you want?" the genie said, looking at the wife. 

"I want a house in every country of the world," she said. 

"Consider it done," the genie replied. 

"And what's your wish, genie?", the husband said. 

"Well, since I've been trapped in that bottle, I haven't had sex with a woman in a thousand years. My wish is to sleep with your wife." 

The husband looked at the wife and said, "Well, we did get a lot of money and all those houses, honey. I guess I don't care." 

The genie took the wife upstairs and ravished her for two hours. 

After it was over, the genie rolled over, looked at the wife, and said, "How old is your husband! , anyway?" 

"Thirty-five," she replied. 

"And he still believes in genies? ... That's amazing."

Q:How are a Playstation 3 and Michael Jackson alike

A:They're Both Plastic And Kids Turn them on.

A woman goes to her boyfriend's parents' house for dinner. This is to be her first time meeting the family and she is very nervous. They all sit down and begin eating a fine meal. The woman is beginning to feel a little discomfort, thanks to her nervousness and the broccoli casserole. The gas pains are almost making her eyes water. Left with no other choice, she decides to relieve herself a bit and lets out a dainty little fart. It wasn't loud, but everyone at the table heard the poot. Before she even had a chance to be embarrassed, her boyfriend's father looked over at the dog that had been snoozing at the women's feet, and said in a rather stern voice, "Ginger!" The woman thought, "this is great!" and a big smile came across her face. A couple minutes later, she was beginning to feel the pain again. This time, she didn't even hesitate. She let a much louder and longer fart rip. The father again looked at the dog and yelled, "dammit Ginger!" Once again the woman smiled and thought, "yes!" A few minutes later the woman had to let another one rip. This time she didn't even think about it. She let rip with a fart that rivaled a train whistle blowing. Again, the father looked at the dog with disgust and yelled, "dammit Ginger, get away from her before she kills you!"

Once,The Pope,Obama & George Bush were on an airplane.The Pope was in a good mood so he threw $100 out the airplane to make someone happy.Then George Bush Shoved The Pope out of his way and threw 2 $100 notes out the the airplane

"You're such a failure"said Bush to the Pope "today i made 2 people happy!""and staring at the 2 of them declared "BEAT THAT!"

So Obama threw Bush out the airplane and made evryone happy!